The Ocean House New Year’s Eve Ball
This is the story of the New Year’s Eve Ball at the Ocean House that felt more like my cousin Vinny’s Wedding than a classy affair. It was a Split Pants and Caviar evening. Moreover, it’s a tale of caution.
The Ocean House in Westerly, Rhode Island rang in the new year 2024. The New Year’s Eve Ball was the first time we returned to the hotel since 2021. This event was ‘billed’ as a ‘hotel-wide-black-tie-event.’ But it was anything but. It included a split pants, mushy Caviar and a disgruntled employee in the members only clubroom. All in all, it was a most forgettable affair.1
My Cousin Vinny’s Wedding
The Ocean House has a new President and Managing Director. In 2021, Mr. Hostettler ensconced to South Florida. He currently serves as the President and Chief Executive Officer of The Boca Raton. Stepping into his rather hefty shoes at the Ocean House is Mr. Dant Hirsch.
Ideally, one would adapt to the “dress code” of the new climate and culture. In warmer, tropical climates gentlemen prefer to go tieless. As in recent images of Mr. Hostettler shows he traded in his business ties for an open collar. Whereas Mr. Hirsch didn’t trade in anything. Moreover, he is rarely in a business tie, not even a ‘black tie’ for the “hotel-wide-black tie-event.”
Does it really matter? Of course it does! The Ocean House is an industry leader. They received several industry accolades and awards, intended to set them apart from the rest of the herd. it’s really damaging to put a foot wrong. But under Mr. Hirsch’s leadership, the Ocean House’s “black tie” event resembled my cousin Vinny’s wedding.
Dress Code
The Social Diary is not immune to the trend of gentlemen going tieless. If Mr. Hirsch wishes to go tieless at his hotel, that is his prerogative. However, there is a dress code for “black tie.” If his hotel is promoting and advertising a black tie event, shouldn’t he at least make the effort?
As beautiful a coastline Watch Hill has, it still doesn’t compare to Newport Rhode Island. Attend any number of society events in Newport during the season, or any number of New York society parties and you will discover more attendees adhering to the dress code.
The Social Diary breaks down the “black tie” dress code including men’s lapels, pocket squares, braces (suspenders), waistcoats and cummerbunds.
Split Pants and Caviar Evening
Now onto the show. As you can imagine from the caption, there was a split pants incident that occurred in the ballroom. Unfortunately, as the downward trajectory of service and hospitality can attest, no one from the Ocean House management took this odious guest aside to have a “chat.” This guest even had the audacity to do a “freeze frame” with his male companion ready to spank him. Prior to this, he had to “flash” his split pants, exposing his male undergarment.
If you provide such commentary to the Ocean House, they go stealth. We have written multiple emails since April 2022. Did we get a response? Not at all. However, we know they were read because changes were made to their website from our list.
These are matters you don’t bring up to Chuck Royce, the owner. That is the job of the President and Managing Director. Even Mr. Hostettler or his right hand at the time, Antonia, took the time to respond.
This is Not Caviar
Split Pants and Caviar Experience
On the matter of Caviar, the Ocean House staff probably needs a refresher course. The young employee who spooned out Caviar at the station kept referring to salmon/fish roe as Caviar. Perhaps this is an American thing of mislabeling food items to make them sound more “posh,” however, Salmon is not Sturgeon. Caviar is only Caviar if it comes from the Sturgeon. There are several varieties of Sturgeon, Beluga being the top-shelf.
Metal is the death of Caviar. One of the first lessons in fine dining we learned as young children. We were fortunate to experience Caviar in our youth. Unlike adults we didn’t know why there was such a fanfare to “fish eggs.” But as we grew up we realised that Caviar wasn’t just fish roe.
It was shocking to see “metal works” by the young employee spooning the Caviar. Fine dining restaurants know how to handle Caviar and it’s never with metal. Jean-Georges in New York City, uses two mother of pearl spoons or plastic spoons (in the kitchen). Instructing on fine dining etiquette or pointing out the obvious is not the job of the guest. It was a split pants and Caviar kind of evening.
Not the Member Experience
There is absolutely no room to make excuses either. Having young staff replenishes the workforce, however, if the Ocean House is hiring talent, shouldn’t they train them as well? With this stated, why was the seafood attendant handing out shrimp like a deck of cards? He should have focused on replenishing the seafood station. It is one of the more popular food stations. However, on this occasion, the employee was passing out shrimp like a card game.
As the evening wound down, it was time for dessert. There were a variety of food stations throughout the hotel. The dessert (pudding) station was located in the members only clubroom. Who hasn’t seen the Rhode Island monthly edition with Chuck relaxing in the members only area of the Ocean House?
The decor was vibrant and easy on the eyes. Well, that was the extent of it since the rest of the experience in the clubroom was as forgettable as the paper cups offered for coffee and tea service. There were no cups and saucers in sight. Additionally, a disgruntled employee threw some teaspoons into a bin, and it took five minutes to find appropriate cutlery to eat a piece of cake.
If this is the “member experience“, definitely pass. You are better off dining at The Café. The food is better and so is the environment.
Black Tie Optional
Split Pants and Caviar at the Ocean House
Why does the Ocean House bill these events as “unforgettable black tie events?” Then cater to people whose conduct is questionable? It was a split pants and Caviar experience.
More than half the men weren’t even in a black tie ensemble. Most probably don’t know what a proper dinner suit looks like. We have seen the same at higher end charity events, some north of $2,500. Some men just don’t know how to dress for the occasion. Most look inappropriate and underdressed.
Whilst Mr. Hirsch made the effort with the appropriate shirt studs, he forgot the “black tie” and wore the wrong jacket style. There’s the rub! How is a gentleman supposed to dress when he doesn’t know the difference between a peak lapel and a notch lapel? How about jetted pockets, a waistcoat or cummerbund? What about one galon (trim) or two on the trousers? Not to mention that we are talking about a self-tie black “bow” tie, not a clip on, or a suit tie one might wear to “happy hour.”
For this reason, The Social Diary prefers the usage of “black tie optional” as a means to traverse around this dress code conundrum. Black tie is still an acceptable and welcomed ensemble, but gentlemen are welcome to attend in their preferred evening attire.
The Dressed Down Trend
The casual trendsetters have overtaken black tie at formal events. The split pants and Caviar evening at the Ocean House was a “dressed down” formal. Most of the men wore whatever they found in their closets. Many of the women didn’t adhere to the black tie dress code. We also have to give credit to those who put their best front forward. In this social circle of casual trendsetters, “black tie” is a dress code that is not understood or well received. Whereas in other social circles such attire is a familiar code of etiquette and manners. Imagine navigating a “white tie” dress code! The latter, in many social circles, reached extinction level status.
Whilst a short skirt (above the knees) and a Rhinestone wrap might be ideal for an after work social, it would be highly inappropriate for a “black tie” event. Women are expected to appear in a floor length dress or gown. Cocktail attire are acceptable, with length closer to the ankles.
Gentlemen are expected to wear an appropriate dinner suit. But the ladies are not restricted to any specific colour or design, but classy is always best.
Split Pants and Caviar
Top Down Failure
It has been a ghastly trend of some upscale hotels and members only clubs to “relax” their dress code to their own detriment. By relaxing standards, these establishments have created an environment where guests visiting their properties don’t know how to dress or behave, for that matter. Take for instance, the guy who split his pants but kept on dancing anyways.
Moreover, when you have the President and Managing Director not adhering to the “black tie” dress code when an event was billed as such, the Ocean House is not setting any real examples to follow.
Newport Still Rules
The Ocean House also offered multiple tiered ‘experiences’ such as butler service for an additional fee. Our recommendation is skip it and set your sights on a true ‘black tie’ experience in Newport, where you can dine and dance in one of the historic mansions. In our humble opinion, Newport still rules.
- This story was updated to include relevant information and formatting. ↩︎